GOODFIELD INTERPERSONAL VALUES EXERCISE

Some years ago I developed a test to surface a person's place within his or her interpersonal relationship. Perhaps a good way to avoid conflict would be to take this informative test with your partner. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed and follow the instructions exactly. Each person is to take approximately five minutes per section. Do not discuss your responses until you and your partner have both completed all of your G.I.V.E. Upon completion, exchange papers with your partner and systematically discuss each section before proceeding to the next one.

Remember, risk taking is in direct proportion to growth. Also be clear that you are showing concern about the relationship by participating in this exercise. Moreover, you are communicating about what both of you see as being important now. That may be all it will take to make a good relationship even better, or to put a troubled one back on course.

Goodfield Interpersonal Values Exercise

SECTION ONE

Write 10 sentences that reflect the main goals you have now and hope to achieve within the next five years.

SECTION TWO

Write 10 sentences that begin with the words, "I am... "

SECTION THREE

Write 10 sentences that begin with the words, "I need... "

SECTION FOUR

Write 10 sentences that begin with the words, "I am concerned (or anxious) about... "

SECTION FIVE

Repeat sections one through four, responding this time as you feel your partner would respond.

SECTION SIX

Rank in order or priority all 10 all sentences in all of the sections. Most important will be 1., second most important is 2, and so on.

SECTION SEVEN

Look at each section; write one sentence for each section that captures the feeling tone of each section.

SECTION EIGHT

Look at the four sentences about yourself that you have just written in section seven, and the four sentences you have just written about your partner in section seven, synthesis the four sentences about yourself and the four sentences about your partner into two sentences.

SECTION NINE

Exchange papers and discuss one section at a time, starting with section one and work forward.

SECTION TEN

When participating in this exercise, keep in mind that the goal --- as it is in life --- is the process and not the end result.

Perhaps one of the most difficult challenges is to keep the lines of communication open at home and work. I know many top leaders who fight for democracy but would never stoop to practice it.

Benito Mussolini, in his book, Fascism, said, "Democracy is a kingless regime infested by many kings who are sometimes more exclusive, tyrannical and destructive than one, if he be a tyrant."

Crisis management begins at home, for if the leader lives in an unstable environment he will bring that to any crisis in his professional life. As stated earlier the goal of life is balance. It is possible to maintain balance at work when there is imbalance at home, but not for long. It is only a question of time when personal imbalances whether they be intrapsychic or interpersonal, will impact the performance in the professional arena.